Old Journals




1-31-09 L-Sparr birthday
I felt like being lazy this morning. I planned on laying in bed a bit longer today. I have been so over
whelmed lately. It's not like I am out every night or anything. I have really kept it to a minimum. It was
wonderful out today. I believe it was 45 degrees out. Almost spring like temperatures. I went to
D'Amicos to get Lauren her Gift card for her birthday. I know she likes that place. I got to the party a
bit early. I never have been in this area. I was afraid to get lost. It was funny, We all yelled surprise
and she said "I Knew it". Haha way to ruin the surprise. It was a lot of fun just mingling with everyone.
It was a pretty darn good party.

1-30-09 Bowling battle/ Liz bday
It was Friday today. I was in a good mood all day. Work has been so busy. I am not able to keep up
anymore. I needed a drink today. I met up with Dan early at Bradys for happy hour. Once every one else
got there. Tonight was a tough battle for us. We lost the 1st game by 10. Well we kinda won, but we had
a ball go in the gutter and popped out. We knew it didn't count. Therefor they won. Lost the 2nd game by
4. On the verge of getting swept we finally put it together and won by atleast 30 points. It was enough
to get us the split. I drove down to Bloomington at Joe Sensors. We all met up for Liz's birthday. We
tried to get her drunk. We had 4 shots just sitting there, It was a fun Friday night. Also a inexpensive
Friday night.

1-29-09 Saluting who?
Wake up. Throw on jacket. Start the car. Take Lysine, allegra, vitamin c, vitamin b12, Multi vitamin,
shower, do 20 jumping jacks, brush teeth, stare at closet wondering what to wear, cause what I wanted
to wear isn't what I wanted today. Thats my morning. I know I went crazy with the commas. For lunch
today we went to eat at Arbys. I totally pigged out. I had a beef n cheddar meal and I also ordered a
slice of pizza from Sbarros. I got home and was intrigued with some things on tv. Annie wanted to go out
for dinner. So we went to her favorite place Salut on grand ave. I have been un-impressed with their
food. I don't care about their price. Just feels like their food isn't impressive. Other things, I started
to drink hot tea. That seems to control my appetite. We shall see if it works tomorrow.

1-28-09 Rise and fall in one day
I was so glad it was Wednesday today. I felt that I have been getting very annoyed as of late. I need to
learn to control my stress and anxiety better. I wrote down plans I have. I guess I need to take a lot
of negativity out of my life. I have done this before and I know it sounds repetitive. I tried to calm my
self with practicing how to breathe certain ways. I wake up and stare out the window. For about a good
5 minutes. It helps relax me. Tonight at volleyball. It was a day I wish I could forget. The team has
officially fell apart. We were 12 and 6 going into this game. We were playing a 8 and 10 team. I was not
in the mood for any type of negative tonight. I got tired of hearing other team mates criticized over
certain things. After that, I did something I never thought I would do. I gave up. I really didn't want to
try my best anymore. I stopped caring. We lost 2 games and won the last game. I was angry and pissed
off the whole game. I got home and tried to de-stress. It was already hard enough when I had to watch
the other team smiling and having fun. I thought that was why we are playing in this so called fun league.

1-27-09 Pills and more pills
I was a bit afraid of the cold this morning. So afraid I didn't even want to go outside for lunch or leave
the office, So I just had my pork chops. If you notice the theme. I have been eating a lot of pork chops
lately. They were on sale for $.99 a lb so we have a whole bunch of pork. I went to Rainbow and picked up
some groceries. I strolled over to the pharmacy area nd picked up some vitamins. Vitamin b-12 and daily
vitamin pill. I figure I could add it to my daily pill fixation. So right now I take daily.
Allegra(fexofenidine), Zyrtec(Ceterizine), Lysine, vitamin B-12, vitamin C, and multi vitamin(calcium,
magnesium, zinc). That is a lot, of junk. I guess I felt I was not nourished enough and was missing
certain things in my body.

1-26-09 Running out of lines
I sure had a case of the Mondays. I have been very moody as of late. I googled my medications. I guess
it could be a reason for being snippy. I ate so much today. I had two pork chops and still went to eat at
Baja Sol. I could not control it. I got home and I was so tired. I ended up just doing some laundry and
taking it easy. So far so good for 2009. I promised I would take it easy. It helps I have been playing
video games to get my mind off of hunger and other things. I got Bioshock and I have been constantly
playing that game. Its a pretty neat game.

1-25-09 Dodgeball Champions!
I was not feeling good at all this morning. I woke up wanting to throw up. I think i have to come to the
reality that I am not going to be able to drink much with my meds. I guess its part of growing up. I
drove to downtown St Paul to goto a bar called Station-4. That was where our dodgeball tournament was
going to be today. The prize for 1st place. $100 cash. Trophies and bar tab. Well we creamed the
competition. I threw as hard as I could. The adrenaline was really pumping. We were exhausted. The
running and throwing and beers. I gave it everything I had. I was pretty worthless in the championship
game. I just kept getting hit. I had great moments though. We did more then a few shots of jello shots
and regular shots. Regardless, this was all for charity. I hope they raised enough. I drove home and
enjoyed some big King crab. It was for Vietnamese New year. The fam bam was over and we had crab legs
the size of beer cans. They were huge. Its been a long day, but I am glad I got to bring home my
dodgeball trophy. Its going to sit nice at my desk at work.

1-24-09 Backward motions
I woke up pretty early today. I seem to get up early on weekends then I do week days. I got ready for
dodgeball today. I knew I was going to take it a bit more easy today. To rest  up for the tournament on
Sunday. I eventually jammed my thumb pretty good. It is a little swollen. We went to Ruby Tuesday for
lunch. I havn't been there in years. Ever since they got rid of there all day two for ones. Plus, the price
was getting a bit high. I got home and cleaned up. Drove to my sisters house to take my nephew Kobe to a
movie. Then the little brat decided to not want to see a movie. So I got there early for no reason. I
figured I would help cook the chicken at least. I drank a bit, then ended up leaving to NE Minneapolis. I
met up with people at Stasius. I never seen that place so busy. I started to get sick. I swear, I am not
drinking that much and I feel sick. Its getting annoying.

1-23-09 Battle of the Titans
Today seemed like the slowest day ever. I wanted that clock to go faster. It felt like it was stuck in
time. It was supposed to get back to super freezing temps tonight. I was not a fan of that at all. When
i got home from work. I was feeling so tired. I didn't know if I was going to make it to Bradys. Tonight
at bowling. I bowled pretty good. I think I was over my average. We swept the number one team. We
were the 2 seed. We are now in sole possession of first place. We went to the Hoggsbreath after. We
played some darts. I realized, I tend to get drunk faster while I am on my meds. It just makes me sick
actually.

1-22-09 Forgotten dreams
I was checking the weather this morning. I was so excited it was going to be a wonderful day today. I
think we are supposed to hit 30 today. I went to rainbow to buy some more Lean Cuisine. I bought 5
boxes of them. Can't go wrong with 50% off. I got home and tried to catch up on LOST. I love that
show. I will have to say its my favorite show of all time. I was treated to a nice two hour premiere. I
saw something I was working on. I guess I should finish it. Night time for me.

1-21-09 Volleyball Backlash
I was tired again this morning. I was out of it all day. Bryan brought in left of snacks from his
inauguration party. I kept walking over and snacking. Which was not good for me at all. I was really
angry today at work. Just realizing my ex deleted me from facebook and myspace. Actually I take it back
I am not angry. I was disappointed. She wanted to remembrance of me. I was ok with it after I walked
around the building. It is in the back of my mind, but I will just channel it through sports. I have
forgotten how much of a stronger person then I was say 5 years ago. Moving froward, I went to happy
hour with Becky. I guess we had a lot of things to stress. It was good to just vent for both of us. We
won all 3 games at volleyball tonight. We looked good on defense. We also played a bad team though. I
was spiking it hard. Like I said I was channeling my anger. I need to save some this weekend for dodge
ball.

1-20-09 Fexofenadine & Cetirizine
I went to St Johns medical again today. Urine test and blood test. I can feel the joy. Today is the first
day I start living my life on pills. Fexofenadine every morning, and cetirizine at night. I get refills
through 2010. I been trying to stay awake all day today. I felt so weak. I think its from them taking my
blood. I tried the angry whopper today. I was a bit disappointed in it. It wasn't as spicy as I would
hope. i know fast food joints have this rule of not being able to be overly spicy. I was so tired I just
went home. I think Blockbuster screwed up and sent me 5 movies in the mail. I am supposed to only have
3 at a time. Not sure what that was all about. Tonight, I made a list. A list of my plan for 2009.

1-19-09 MLK day, Dr's visit
I woke up early today. My doctors appointment was at 9:45am. I ended up getting two more
prescriptions. A pill for day and night. I had to get an x ray done. I guess there are things that can
cause hives I guess. I was a bit surprised by that. I guess I have to fast before I do my blood test. I
didn't have a clue. For once I actually ate breakfast. So I will have to go back tomorrow. I went out to
dinner at Salut tonight. It was 10 dollar bottle of wine night. My food was ok, I had the french onion
soup burger.

1-18-09 Hell Kitchen
I was so hungry this morning. I did a lot of errands today. Me and Erin decide to get brunch  at Hell
Kitchen in downtown Minneapolis. Its located where Rossi's used to be. Close to the new Manny's. I liked
the food. I thought it was good. We tried to find a coffee shop after. Then once we found one. We
realized we really don't drink coffee anyways. So we didn't go. I got home and watched some playoff
games. I went to get some food tonight with Becky. Then after that we met up with everyone at the
Bluefox. For the first time I could feel my anxiety when I was going through things. Interesting for me.
It was a late night.

1-17-09 Slowing it on the DL
I woke up real early today. About 8am on a Saturday morning. I must be getting real old. At dodgeball
today. I started off a bit slow. I had trouble moving around. It was pretty crowded today. Eventually I
got to roam and do some damage. It was a good work out for me today. We went to legends for lunch. I
got a steak. I wanted something that will keep me full for a bit. I went over to Andy and Jennys for
dinner. Jens dad and her friends Angie and Tony were there too with their baby Nicholas. We played
some dice game. I think I was ahead. Then I lost it all. I was pretty tired tonight. Figured I would get
another nights rest. I am 5 days off the pill. Since my allergy test is Monday. Tonight it sucked to sleep.

1-16-09 Bowling collapse
It was pay day today. I was really happy. I have a new savings/vacation plan. I am going on vacation next
year. A real vacation. Not one of those little drive an hour or two and call it a night type of deals. I am
going to throw 40 bucks from my pay check every week to savings. After a year it should be a little over
a grand. Well thats the plan. Tonight at bowling we did not do so good. I bowled under my average all
three games. It was horrible. I was just not feeling it at all. We won 1 game and lost 3. At least it was
to a team in the bottom of the standings. We went to the the fox after. i was not feeling good. So I
just went home.

1-15-09 Slumdog Millionaire
Another exciting cold day. Its amazingly bad today. How does arctic air come all the way down here. I
blame it on global warming. I dunno if it works in this case. I can pretend to know what I talk about.
Thats what uptowners do right? j/k. I tried to get back on track with my food eating habits. It was just
a salad and sandwich today. After work I went over to Heidi's. We went to go see Slumdog Millionaire. I
never heard of it till I saw the Golden Globes. I will have to say it was a pretty good movie. It was a
lot more then what I expected. I definitely recommend this to anyone I see. I was so tired tonight, I
got home and just passed out.

1-14-09 Reality check, work to do
This has to be one of the coldest days of my entire life. Well it seems that way. For lunch today. I
needed to drive down to St Louis Park to goto Micro Center. I needed to get a 16GB flash drive.  After
work today. I got my self ready for volleyball. We were down a person to start. Eventually we were at
full force. It was still not enough. We got swept all 3 games. We didn't even come close to winning. This
was a battle of the best two teams. We sure didn't show up. This was also a team we upsetted in the
playoffs last year. We went to Scoops to get a few drinks after. I got home and I was just tired. I felt
tired through out the whole day. I have head aches and its not going away. Right now, I need to just get
this head ache to go away.

1-13-09 Resting the limbs
I let my car warm up for about 30 minutes today. I have gotten the routine down. Wake up, grab keys,
put on jacket, start car, get on with my morning activities. Gosh I think it was like - 15 degrees or
something today. Not sure the exact temp. It felt like it. Never mind I checked, its only negative 3
outside. I have been eating away again this morning. I feel like every snack I see is going in my tummy. I
had left overs from home. I saved money and stayed in. So at least I am doing something right. Tonight,
I was watching tv and I just realized how bruised and battered my body is. I hate this feeling, and it
hurts even more when its cold. Tonight is the last night I get to take of hydroxyzine. After that I have
5 days till I get my allergy test.

1-12-09 Gaining it back
I really enjoy seeing the snow fall. I think its pretty. Speaking of pretty. Whats not pretty is how much
I have been snacking at my desk today. I could not stop eating. I went through my whole box of
Cheez-its. I tried to make my self feel better by eating Subway. Of course, later on for dinner. I made
it worse again by eating Famous Daves for dinner. I met up with Lawrence for dinner. Gained most of my
weight back right there. I forgot how expensive that place is. So I need to do a better job of
controlling my habits. I got home and I was just catching up on 24. I Got into it last season.

1-11-09 Give me more football
I spent the entire day watching football. I did go out to Target and buy my self a nice tupperware
container. I go through so many of those things. I figured, if I had a nice one that doesn't stain. I
would appreciate it more. Jess Kelley was back in town. So Me and Joe went to to the Fox to see her and
have a few cocktails with her. I got home, I was so tired. I wasn't relying on my pills to see how I would
feel. I guess I am just trying my fate.

1-10-09 La Chaya outting
At dodgeball today I think I might have over done it. I was so exhausted. We played an extra 30 minutes
of intense dodgeball. Afterwards I helped Andy move his new mattress into his house. I felt lie my arms
were burning. I havn't had any food. I was just weak. I was going to eat something when I got home. I
didn't want to ruin dinner though so I waited awhile longer. I picked up everyone and off we went. Erin
wanted me to pick some thing, so I picked La Chaya Bistro on Nicollet. Food was pretty good. I thought
my meal was satisfying. I think Andy had some seabass entree. Jen had lobster pasta of some sort. Erin
had Jumbo shrimp. Afterwards, we went to Edina, or as I called it. Ed-in-a! We went to Beaujo's for
wine and more wine. I somehow ate brie cheese, which is something i can't stomach. I almost yacked on
the floor. Someone was in the bathroom. It was the worst 45 seconds of my life.

1-09-09 Bowling bulldozers                
I was so excited to see Karens reaction for her desk that we decorated. I guess she was having a crabby
morning. Thats ok, her birthday continues on. We went to lunch at Applebees. It was kinda funny they
sand to her and everything. I didn't even know they did that at Applebees. We have a small video on
youtube now. After work I went to Bradys for happy hour. We are playing a team that had lots of
handicap points. I think we swept them. It was hard to tell, butI am sure we did. We beat them by over
90 each time. So their new bowler would have had a handicap less then 90 for sure. I hop I did my math
right. I think I got a 173, 190, and a 125. I was so tired, I took my pill and I was getting drowsy again.
I drove home quickly before I passed out.

1-08-09 Treasure Island
Tonight is Mario's belated birthday dinner. We left work a bit early so we can get down there in time
and not have to wait in the longest line ever. My drive down there was great. I opened my cd case full of
music I listened to about 5 years ago. I kinda realized my taste in music sucked a bit. Regardless, I
played songs I havn't heard in a long time. Backstreet boys, Avril Lavigne, Britney. All the old school
stuff. Haha. I was so excited we finally got to eat crab legs. I think I ate about 90 dollars worth of
crab legs. I gambled about 4 bucks. I was up money too. I am just not really a big gambler. I got back to
the cities and stopped at Walgreens to buy a balloon for Karens desk. Its tough finding a birthday
balloon there. After I checked out. I walked out side and the balloon floated away. I was swearing at in  
my inside voice of course. The string and the balloon detached somehow. I was so embarrassed, I didn't
want to walk back in. So I decided to goto Rainbow and buy another balloon. I got to work late at night
and decorated her desk.

1-07-09 9 Game winning streak
So I was day dreaming about being on a big sandy beach. Margarita in my hand, on the rocks. Even though
I like it blended or frozen. Looking off into the distance and seeing sand castles. Then I had a flash
back to reality. I was driving in the cold weather and I was at a stop light. I guess to just be able to
live in that moment for a little while longer would have been great. After work, I went to Fridays to
meet up with Becky for happy hour. We havn't done that in a long time. I then ran off to Blaine for
volleyball. We won all 3 games. The first 2 games we had to claw at it from behind. Our offensive was
sloppy. Defensively we did good. We are currently on a 9 game winning streak. So our record is now 9 and
3.

1-06-09 Minor exercising
I went to Target to look for some items today. I went strolling through the clearance section. About 3
week ago. I saw a little cooler/heater thing. Basically it fits about 4 cans of pop and it either cools up
or heats up. I was hoping it was there. I mean they had a huge sign that was 90% off everything else.
Naturally it wasn't there. I got home and did some light work outs. When I mean light, I mean basically
in between commercials on tv. I took my pill early tonight. It knocked me out in no time. I was out like a
baby.

1-05-09 Year of the Cu
It was had to get back to the grind of work life. It was so cold this morning. I let my car warm up for
about 20 minutes outside. The thing that sucks when its so cold. Is that all my joints just seem to hurt
a lot more. When I got home today. I was so used to watching my certain shows. With the lineups
changed. I was at a loss. There was no Monday night football to watch, So what does Tony cu do? Watch
the food network channel for the rest of the night. I weighed in at 178 lbs today. Me and Lawrence have
our goal weights to lose by February 28th. I have to lose 15 lbs. 11 lbs would be a success. Anything less
would be a failure. So I assume you would ask. Whats your plan? My plan is to eat a lot of protein, drink
about 7 glasses of water a day. Trust me 8 is over rated these days. With light exercises in between.

1-04-09 Viking failure
I went to Benihana's for lunch today. It sure was expensive with out the Minneapolis lunch special they
used to have. It was fun though. I enjoy there food, its not the best ever. Just enough to make everyone
happy. I was making fun of Jamie since I havn't seen her 2 out of 3 days in a long time. Me and Chris
went to Mike and Heidi's for the Vikings game. I knew the Vikes would lose. Well we all did actually. I
got home and I was just too tired to do anything else. Especially when I have spent so much money this
weekend.

1-03-09 McGowan bday
I went to dodge ball this morning. I sure wasn't feeling in good at all. I did pretty good today. I was
doing a good job. I was focused. Someone yelled at me and got me angry. So I was forced to try a bit
more. I mean, don't they know how sensitive I am. Anyways, I went to Erin's, and we were of to Azia.
Which is a pretty cool looking restaurant. It was like a fancy asian restaurant. The most fancy I have
ever been too for the type of food. We went back to Erin's and just hung out there. It as a interesting  
night. I ordered pizza. I was so hungry. It was kinda nice being the responsible one. For some reason I
got really tired though. Maybe it was my pills. I was dozing off on the way home. I was pretty lucky.
Since it was snowing.

1-02-09 Bowling journey begins
It was fairy quiet today. Seems like everyone was just showing up late or not at all at work. I had a
chance to get some things I have been putting off to the side. I went to Happy hour at Bradys with
everyone. We call it "attitude adjustment". I bowled good. I got a 166, 192 and 105 I think. We went out
to the Hoggsbreath or drinks. It was kind of Marios birthday outting. It was lots of fun. Jamie, Chris,
Andy, Jenny and Amy showed up too. In a way it kinda felt like my birthday.

1-01-09 New Years day
I woke up feeling as sore as can be. My arms were bugging me a lot. For some reason, my arms were
inflamed with pain. Unbearable pain, even for me. I was unable to sleep most of the night. Things are ok
now, but they still feel heavily strained. It felt like I ripped a muscle or too. I went over to Andy and
Jenny's for dinner tonight. They made lasagna, my favorite. It was good. I was just feeling groggy all
day. Maybe its the new prescription pills affecting me. Hydroxyzine is what its called. I googled it and
its supposed to control my anxiety and itching habits. So hopefully it controls the hives I get. I didn't
realize my anxiety was out of whack. Then I thought about it. I am always on the go, and trying to be
somewhere. No wonder I can never sleep at night. My body thinks I am always going somewhere. Plus,
with my thought process. Its always running a million different scenarios in my head. I just need to calm
the F down perhaps. Oh and its supposed to knock me out at night.