Old Journal

7-31-08 I have been feeling so hungry in the morning lately. I guess finally my body is requiring
me to eat breakfast. I just realized tomorrow is pay day. So I am a bit ecstatic right now. I was
trying to figure out how my weekend was going to pan out. I think Friday I will just take it easy
and not do much spending at all. Saturday, should be low key also. I am basically bracing my
self for the big Fortune bay trip next weekend. I am just so glad I got it off. I think my friends
would have been a bit disappointed in me if I bailed out. Apparently I have a reputation for that.
I was so tired this evening. I wanted nothing more then to just take a long nap. Ofcourse I can't
do it. Sleeping just throws me out of whack if I try to do it during the after noon. I did go to the
Saints stadium to watch Steve's Rosetown baseball team get their ass kicked by some tri-metro
team. I think those kids just had a bad day.

7-30-08 My neck was sore this morning. I am trying to break in this new pillow. I am wondering
if I bought one of those expensive pillows. Would it really make a difference? It was wonderful
outside today. There was just a nice enough breeze to cool things down. I went to Green Mill
after work today for happy hour. I met up with Andy and Jenni for some drinks before we went
to go see the latest batman movie. I was kind of falling asleep in the beginning. I don't think it
was cause of the movie. I was just plain tired. I woke up eventually. For people to say this was
the best action movie ever. I easilly will have to disagree. I was so tired tonight. I have been
trying to just do the simple things. i have been throwing away alot of junk. I don't want to be
one of those people that just hold onto useless junk. So I am chucking alot of it int he garbage.

7-29-08 I was all alone today at work. I was also starving, luckilly Mario was coming back from
some where. I made him pick me up breakfast. I was trying to figure out where I wanted to go
vacation this fall. When I mean fall I mean September sometime. I think I figured out my
destination. Today I went to the park where we have practice. I went an hour early to shoot
some hoops. I was trying to push my self running up and down the court. I was winded after
basketball. I walked over to the other side o the park for softball. We had a good practice
today. I missed alot of balls at short stop today. I was too tired to just get those balls. On the
way home. I noticed gas prices were around $3.49. Sadly, it sounds cheap right now. I rather
pay that then $4.00 though. I was a bit sore from this past weekends activities. My body really
needs to rest right now.

7-28-08 Tired and very weak was the feeling I had this morning. I just havn't been sleeping
much since I have been getting up so much earlier now. We went golfing for lunch today. Well
it was more of the driving range. I did fairly well today. I hit some good balls. I also had some
bad ones, but I expect those to happen. I was sweating and I felt just gross all over. Today was
just more of a relaxing day. Laundry and things like that. I hate this time of year when it feels
like summer is almost winding down. If you think about it. Seems like every Saturday from this
point out is booked with weddings or what ever the case may be. I needed some fresh air and
left the house for a bit tonight. I got all exciting writing about summer and I needed to just be
out. I just hate those fricking mosquitos.

7-27-08 I tried to get up a bit earlier then normal today. I just didn't want to sleep in. Since that
would make it a little tougher for me to wake up on Monday. See how I am thinking ahead now
these days. I went with Andy and Jenni to the River of shit. I forgot what its actually called. This
name just stuck in my head when they said it. Its a expensive furniture store. I hung over at
Andy and Jenni's most of the day. I was so dehydrated from yesterday. I went to POV's to get
my mind straight for tonights game. i knew it was going to be a good one. Tonight, we lost 3
games. This was our first sweep we lost too. We got out hustled and out played. They used our
game plan against us. They didn't exactly hit me the ball much either. Thats no longer an
excuse though. Team should be good enough to have a better showing then that. Props to
the other team though, they played like it was the championship game.

7-26-08 I got up early today by accident. I couldn't get back to bed. I drove to Bloomington
this morning for the kickball tournament. I didn't know what to expect. I felt we should have
been able to make a run. We lost in the first round, which was a bit upsetting. I did a pretty
decent job at 3rd base today. I think I was 2 for 3 kicking. Its just sad we couldn't advance. I
think we lost 5 to 6 or something like that. I was tired so I decided to just go home. Lindsey told
me they were going out on their boat today. I havn't had a chance to do it at all this year. I
think i got pretty drunk on the boat. When I got home I took a nice little nap. I got up and
went to 7 corners for Jim's bday at town hall brewery or what ever its called. I didn't stay long. I
didn't even drink. I just wanted to buy Jim a drink. Once I got home I was just feeling so dead. I
went right to bed and it felt like I had the worse drunk/hangover feeling in the world. I laid there
motionless in my bed the rest of the night. Its funny how many compliments I have gotten
about the me losing weight so quickly. I just got to learn to keep it off. I usually gain in mostly

7-25-08 Today was a pretty interesting day. Most of the morning was spent watching Ceil get a
good laugh out of her new office/closet. We had it on video from like three different angles. I
have pictures, so just email me if you want to see it. We had a long meeting today, so long we
got boxed lunches. After work today I went over to Andy and Jenni's. We went to Buffalo Wild
Wings for dinner tonight. Me and Jen decided to go watch softball tonight. It was a pretty awful
game. I mean arguing and fighting. Oh well I guess it makes it exciting. I got home tonight and
just crashed. I have been so tired this week from getting in early all week. It was nice to just
relax. I needed it more then everything. I have a feeling tomorrow should be equally exciting.

7-24-08 Its Thursday, that means its almost Friday. I was so excited today. Lauren had a
training class down stairs in our training area at TIES. So she got to see my office and we went
to lunch at Chianti. I stayed a bit late today at work trying to help construct Ceil's office to a
closet for her birthday. This may be the biggest birthday prank ever. I mean there was sheet
rock, 2x4's  and everything. Hell even a sink. I got home tonight and I was just exhausted. I
just wanted to relax and do nothing for awhile. I got bored and I decided to give my hair a little
hair cut. I did some laundry and cleaning. I was just trying to figure out whats going on for this
weekend. It sounds like alot of birthdays right now. I don't know how I am going to make
everyone happy. Most of my life I have put other people first. Its going to be very hard to
figure out the different priorities now. We shall see what happens.

7-23-08 I gave up. I needed real food today. i had enough of this salad stuff. I don't know how
you veggies do it. I have been wondering where the summer went. Its almost August and that
means State fair time. I saw a guy just smoking a dooby in his car this morning. I didn't know
people did that out in public. I should know better though. I mean seriously. Who does that. As
I open my can of Full throttle energy drink over a cup of ice. I was thinking, wouldn't it be nice
to just have some vodka right now. Well I guess that makes me know different then the guy
with the dooby this morning. Wow, I just realized I was a hypocrite there. Anyways, after work
today i went to the 5-8 Club. Kinda sucked, because we wanted to get real trashed and they
only served beer and no liquor. It kinda made me sad inside. We won tonight regardless. I
wasn't even trying to hard anyways. I didn't even wear my socks or anything. We went to Fort
Snelling for drinks after. It was nice just sitting outside. It was a fun season, thats al that matters
to me.

7-22-08 You know how the saying goes. "Another day, another dollar". That came to my mind
when I heard it years ago from Rich Z. Back in my tcf days ofcourse. I don't know why I
thought about it. Today it was another boring salad from the refrigerator at lunch today. So far
so good with the not going out to eat for lunch. I just don't know how much more of this bland
stuff I can take. After work today, I went to pick up Cara for softball practice. I was starving so
we went to Potbellys. I don't know why, but people just tend to stare at me when I eat. I saw
and old couple just staring at me and it was annoying. Softball practice was fine tonight. I really
didn't put to much of an effort into it. Just taking it easy. I ended up going to the Corner bar
and Fridays tonight. It was a late night, but I figured I deserved to splurge a bit. I have been
very sober lately.

7-21-08 I am getting so angry about traffic lately and construction. My morning commute
today was just retarded. I took so many different roads to get to work. Its just frustrating me
right now. For lunch today. Since I have decided to stay in more. I had salad today. It was a
very healthy balance of fruit and veggies. I love cranberry vinaigrette dressing. Ofcourse there
is always food laying around this building from meetings. They just happen to wheel over a cart
of left overs. I tried my hardest to fight it, but I needed meat of some sort. I gave in and
grabbed a small portion. I got home today and I spent most of the evening try to reinstall most
of the computers around the house. It was annoying cause I ran into so many problems. Dells
suck ass. There support sucks by the way.

7-20-08 The final day of my vacation. Its a bit depressing to tell you the truth. I don't wanna
go back. I tried my best to live out the rest of my day today. I didn't do any exercising today.
My legs are just done for now. I didn't want to sleep in too much today. I figured if I could wake
up early I can get tired for tonight. Ofcourse that plan didn't go over exactly to well. I went to
Rainbow today. Well that was the closest grocery I could find near Annie's place. I got nice front
row parking. Her and Becky was getting back from the Twins game I had an hour to get dinner
ready. I felt like I was on an episode of Mission Impossible. I asked her what she wanted. She
said chicken. I didn't have access to her house. So, I was forced to do the marinating in my mini
van an hour ahead of time. I was using a asian bbq style marinate. Gingery and sweet was the
name of the game. Well, people were looking at me all funny. When I was doing th pouring
process into the storage bag I bought. I guess thats not something you see every day.
Anyways it turned out great. I was just tired and sweaty from the grill. She had a sweet grill.
After a couple or three glasses of wine I was off to volleyball. We final got a 3 to 0 sweep against
a team that probably had the best guy in the league. It felt nice. We struggled a bit. We should
probably work on that. Its nice to have good scouting reports and game plans too though.

7-19-08 I finished  something that has been taking alot of my time lately. I pushed my self on
the jump rope today. I went to target today to pick up some stuff. I knew I didn't have much
time today for anything. To tell you the truth I thought it was Sunday today when I woke up. I
am just out of whack right now. I then had to run over to Forest Lake to have lunch with a
friend over there. I had to run down to  Ikea to get some cooking utensils. They normally have
cheap stuff, but they seem to get the job done for me. Afterwards I drove over to East bethel
for Jamies party. We played volleyball and drank a bit. We played Texas Holdem at night and I
won that. It was nice to bring home some extra cash. I had a long drive home. I had stuff on
my mind about work. I have decided what I wanted to do.

7-18-08 Today I went to go have lunch with some old friends/co-workers. It was nice to see
Patti and Didrik again. We went to 8th street grill in downtown Minneapolis. I remembered how
much of an odd ball i was. I guess this whole trying to be normal thing isn't really who I am. I
got to see the old help desk. I really didn't recognize anyone. It was just weird to see. I figured
since I have already paid for parking. I would wander around down town to see whats
happening. Maybe I was scoping the ladies who knows. I went to Bloomington to go shopping
at the mall and I went to go pick up Jonette and Lawrence. Their flight came in a bit early so I
didn't have to act like the guy from the Transporter movies. I was really working on the
european accent too. I went to the Aquatennial tonight. I met up with Jo and Kate and their
friends up there. We went to Glueks and Lyons pub. It was an entertaining night. I am glad I
went out.

7-17-08 Another significant day in my past is today. It doesn't matter, so its no longer
mentioned. I started the day off and running. I went to the Science Museum today. I havn't
been since I was either in middle school or elementary school. I was like a kid in a candy store. I
was basically bullying kids of certain stations so I could play around with things. I was just so
exhausted today. I think with the heavy load of doing so many different activities it took its toll
on m and the body. I can feel my legs are just not with me at the moment. I went to Fridays
for dinner tonight. I was kind of starving. I went home for a bit and I really wanted to sty home
and rest. I ended up going to the Legion since I heard every one was there. It was lots of fun. I
ended up driving some of the peeps home. I was so out of it. I ended up staying the night.

7-16-08 It was nice to sleep in today. I have just been so busy all week. I knew today was
going to be a bit more busy then I expected. I didn't do any exercising today. Just no time to
at all. I ran to the mall to get some stuff done. I went to down town to have lunch with Jamie at
the Loop. We had there pizza's again. This time they weren't too bad either. I think it was a bit
cheesier then normal. I went over to Andy and Jenni's for dinner tonight. I was going for
healthy cooking tonight. I went to kickball tonight, didn't realize it will be the most exciting game
of my kickball career. We were down 5 to 0 in the first inning. We were just so deflated. We
came back with 3 runs. We were trailing in the bottom of the final inning 4 to 7. We scored 4
runs to win the game. This team was better talent wise then us. We just played smarter and
took advantage of their mistakes. I sure relived my title of most electrifying again. I went to
uptown and went to the Drink. Jess was back in town. I ran into Matt there. I forgot he knew
Jess back in the day. I sat around and bs'ed with everyone for awhile.

7-15-08 I got up so early today. I don't remember the last time I had to get up at 4:30am in
the morning. I drive over to pick up Jonette and Lawrence this morning. I brought them over
tot he airport. It was so early, I had to put my glasses on. My eyes just weren't adjusting to
well. I did some morning exercising again. My face was just beat red. I guess thats a good thing.
Or atleast its so hot out that I was suffocating. I went to downtown Minneapolis tonight. I got to
the Shout house a bit early so i wandered over to gameworks. I forgot how much video games
suck these days. All it is now are racing games and more racing games. What ever happened to
all the other fun stuff. The Shout house was lots of fun. Can't go wrong with $2 drinks all night
either. I was so tired when I got home, it was good to be tired. I need to be more tired.

7-14-08 Today it was nice to just not have to get up. I did a good job of moving around on
the basketball court today in the hot sun. I really wanted to push  my self in the extreme heat. I
was running up and down the court with ease. I went to the como zoo today to just walk a
round and check some things out. Too bad I didn't have a little kid with me to show around. I
guess I could always do one of those big brother programs. I went to go watch softball tonight.
I was basically just checking out the competition and to see how teams play defense. I think our
offense will be fine. I am worried about our defense. I decided to stay in tonight. I have to get
up pretty early tomorrow(4:30am) to drive Lawrence and Jonette to the airport. I will see how
tired I am when I get up tomorrow. Should be a pretty busy day tomorrow.

7-13-08 I went to TIES to grab my bike today. I ran into Mark, it was weird seeing him there so
early or even on a Tuesday. I went to Moe's for lunch and to have a quick drink. Michelle was
working, its always fun to see her. I saw Wall-E today. I thought it was sad at times, but it was
very good. I tried to get motivated doing some jogging, but it was just hard to do that today. I
drove towards Andover and went to my brothers to do some things. Tonight at volleyball we
were tied for 1st place with another team. It was the big showdown tonight. They even knew it,
I heard them talking about it. I played as well as I could. We won games right away. We almost
blew a 19 to 10 lead on the 2nd game. The 3rd game, we got behind right away. We came
back but it was just too late. It felt good to take that team down. I went to the Bluefox
afterwards, it was just me and Cy there tonight. So we just kicked back and talked.

7-12-08 I woke up early today to goto softball practice. It really wasn't much of a practice, but
I got some hits in. We need to fix this, if we are thinking of being some what competitive. We all
know we need it, so any practice would be good right now. I met up with everyone at the
hoggsbreath for breakfast. I got home and I just laid around all day. I felt so dehydrated. I went
shopping aftewards. I bought my nephew a game for his psp. Then I got my sister a gift
certificate to target. I went over to the party and it nice and quiet so far. The food was good. I
ate alot of it. I swear my nephew kobe has every fricking game. I don't know why I buy him
games he just always has it. Lots of shots went around, thats my queue to leave. It was nice
spending family time that day. That makes me happy. I went over to Andy and Jenni's, I was
drinking Windsor with Jenni's dad. He sure likes that windsor. I was sitting by the fire and I was
thinking about camping all over again. Except it was alot windier.

7-11-08 I spent most of the day trying to figure out my plan for this weekend. I spent most of
the day just trying to see if it was going to rain tonight or not. I was so tired, last night was just
a blast. I met up with everyone at the VFW tonight. Since Andy has his softball game next
door. We hung there for a bit. I drove brad towards stella's. i was surprised I caught up with
everyone. They had like a 10 minute head start on me. It was fun watching the karoake. It
wasn't amazing, but its cool to watch some of the videos on kool 108. I enjoyed the roof
scene, but it was just overly packed. We went back to Cy's afterwards. I was so out of it I
stayed the night.

7-10-08 Me and Mario decided to give the worst pizza hut service in america another chance. It
was surprising, we got the best service we have ever gotten there. I was kind of in shock, I
didn't know what happened. I was trying to get everything done. Today was technically my
Friday. Since I am on vacation all of next week. After work today, I got home and I was just
starving. I went to go eat at the pink flower in mounds view. Its a Vietnamese restaurant. I had
the pho there. It was below average if you ask me. When I went to go pay my bill. The guy
asked if I was Vietnamese. I said yes, so he proceeded to talk to me in Vietnamese. It was just
awkward for me, yet so funny. Me and Becky went to the Legion where most of the vfw peeps
were. I have never seen  a $1000 pull tab winner before I thought that was cool for my peeps. I
played horse shoes out side. I think that was the first time I have played horse shoes

7-09-08 Today was pretty slow, thank god. I went to Target today with Mario. I decided to go
on a bread only lunch diet. So I bought some french bread. Its supposed to help clear out my
system. Tonight I picked up Brynn and we went to kickball. Tonights game was a blow out. We
won 15 to 0. We finally showed what we were capable of. I struggled kicking tonight. I was just
trying to kick away since we were ahead anyways. It was lots of fun, we really needed a game
like that. Team morale is very high right now. Went tot he 5/8 club afterwards. I was starving.
The beers helped the dehydration part. I was pretty tired by  the time I got home. I have been
drained all week. Yesterday was a big day. I never even wished her Happy bday this year.

7-08-08 I was really frustrated today at work. I was just feeling so angry and pissed off at the
same time I didn't know what to do. I needed to get away so for lunch I went to Jimmy Johns.
There was no where to sit so I was forced to come back. My stomach started to hurt real bad
again. So I was just out of it all day. I had my talk, I knew what was going to happen anyways. I
think constructive criticism was the better term. I dunno. Don't care anymore. I know all of this
was just supposed to light a fire under my ass. Just not right, when all i wanted was to feel
appreciated. I went to Fridays after work today. I went straight for the booze. I guess the
heavy drinking is coming back. I ran into Matt there, Nancys kid. Thought that was weird, I
didn't recognize him at first. Just not used to seeing him down in roseville. I got home and I was
just still pissed off about it. So I hit the boxing bag pretty hard tonight. I think my arms will be
super sore tomorrow. I was so weak and tired I put in Semi-Pro. What a horrible fricking movie.
I tried to watch it, but I ended up falling asleep.

7-07-08 Today I was just feeling out of it, my head hurt and I was just in mood for anything at
all. I just needed more sleep. I was feeling so crabby today. My heart was no where near
wanting t do anything. I had thoughts of even shutting down tonycu.com. Maybe its time to
let it go. Who knows. Just overall I wanted to get away today. I spent time at FRIDAYS in
bloomington late tonight with some friends. I was wasting time while Erins flight came in. It came
in a  bit late. I didn't mind I was just relaxing anyways. After I dropped her of I was driving home
and I was just thinking about so many things. I am going to rest my head tonight. Maybe I will
stop living a lie tomorrow.

7-06-08 Its rained pretty good this morning. I believe it rained probably around 5am to 7am. It
was nice just hearing the wind whistle through the trees and the rain drops falling on my tent.
This was the most at peace I have been in a long time. I think I just laid there with my head and
shoulders kicked back and just smiled about it. We cleaned up and tried to get the heck out of
there. Traffic was a bitch on 35. I have never seen it so bad. We stopped at a casino on the
way home. I think it was the Hole in the wall casino. It was pretty crappy. I lost $13 bucks. I was
playing one dollar machines. I felt like a high roller. On the drive back. I got to finish my
questions. I was able to answer the hard ones. Once I got back. I got home and took the
longest shower ever. I met up with some people at the Fox for one. I got home and I just
watched tv and just did some laundry. I was just thinking about how upset I have been lately
with some things. No matter what, I have decided to just not care about it anymore.

7-05-08 First thing we did today was drive towards Patterson state park and goto play some
golf. This is one of my favorite courses. I actually did well today. I got better as I went. My
drives were just getting better and better. We went to The state park, but we just hung out for
a bit. It got a lot cooler then we expected so we skipped the beach. We got back and we had a
ring toss tournament. I won the first one and Brad won the second one. It was a grueling game
and I was getting drunker each round. I wanted to beat Lindsey so bad. I was happy I was able
to brag afterwards. Tonight we had some other campers from another site come over. I
wonder why its always the creepy ones that come over. I sobered up pretty quick. I just didn't
want to feel like ass on the way home.

7-04-08 4th of July. It was hard to move around this morning. I slept on the hard ground this
morning. I think we wanted to get the drinking started pretty early. We went down to the
waterfall area to swim. I went to the shallow area, but this year the water must have risen. I was
unable to just walk towards the waterfall. It was nice to just sit in the river. We got back and I
think we were all just out of it today. Everyone took a pretty long nap. I was unable to sleep. I
started working on my 75 questions I should ask my self quiz. I skipped the really tough
questions, I woke up and realized I did end up finishing  most of it. Falling asleep on the camp
chair. I am sure it didn't look to amazing. Tonight it was just nice to kick back. I took it fairly
easy tonight. I was tired and the hot sun just kicked my butt.

7-03-08 Today seemed so quiet and slow. It was the most relaxing day ever. Everyone was
just slacking. For lunch I went to Target and i was getting some last minute things for camping.
I was kinda fun, I didn't have too much time since I had to get to lunch with everyone else. I felt
like I was doing some power shopping. We went to Olive Garden, I didn't eat too much. I was
just full so fast. I was off and running for camping. The drive was long. Once I got there it was
nice to just relax and chill. It was the same site we have every year. Tonight, it was more of a
quiet night. I think every one is just bracing them selves for the big night tomorrow night. I was
just relieved to have everything ready to go. So far so good. I also, put on loads of bug spray.
Then it was more quiet time by the fire.

7-02-08 I was so frustrated today, ever since I went to the meeting. I just lost all motivation
and I felt like just going home. I went over to Andy's for lunch today. Its so close, it was nice to
just sit outside. Usually I am on the go so much during my lunch times. After work I ran home
to get some camping gear ready. I was going to drop off some of the stuff like the tent to
Lindsey. That way, by the time I get up there tomorrow night I don't have to set it up in the
dark. I went to the VFW to play cards. Since I had the night off from kickball. It was the 4th of
july week. So there was no games scheduled. I went to Cub foods tonight and got most of the
food for camping. I think this year I am going to be a bit more prepared and have my meals
ready to go. I think I am going to attempt to  have more of a gourmet camping meal. I have
ribs prepared and chicken on the menu for this weekend. The potatoes I did a half ass job on. I
figured you can't screw that up.

7-01-08 It was so nice out today. I stopped at SA and got some breakfast. I normally don't do
that, but today I felt like just doing it. Joe picked me up and we went towards University for
lunch. Joe was craving Pho, and I was too. We went to this place called " The Red Pepper
Cafe". I ate the pho and I thought it was ok. I have had better. I then realized the people
running the place were hmong. How can you have pho at a hmong restaurant. Thats like
Japanese people making us tacos or something maybe I am going off on the reverse racism
thing again I don't know. The issues I come up with are just ridiculous. Tonight I picked up
Andy and Jenni and we went to our first softball practice. We dinked around ran some drills. It
was nice just being able to focus as a player again. This was a sport I knew I had lots of work to
do and I was trying my best to get better. This other softball team showed up and they had a
supposed scheduled practice. It was a bunch of high school kids coed of course. There coach
decided they should scrimmage against us.  It was fun to just play an actual game. I was pretty
excited. I thought I did fairly well. We went to Fridays in roseville to just relax. Its so weird for m
to sit on the patio there. I had fun regardless. I wish I had the rest of the week of.
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