Old Journals

10/31/06 - I feel more tired then I normally do, but at the same time I have more energy. I
believe working out alot has really helped me have more energy through out the day. I went to
Marys coffee shop today. I think I had the best soup I have had in a long time. Broccoli cheese
is one of my favorites. I didn't do my typical cheap movie day today. All though I was tempted
to go watch "Invincible". I decided to go work out at Lifetime instead. I spent alot of time in the
gym shooting hoops. This is the first time I can think of I didn't do anything for halloween,
basically dress up or go out for it. I feel like a party pooper. I was talking to this one girl and I
was saying how it just feels weird to not be apart of such a fun holiday.

10/30/06 - So today was kind of a get to work and just get through the day type of day. I was
a bit tired, I think the daylight savings thing hurt me more then anyone. Me and Lawrence went
to Fridays today for happy hour. I ate so much food I was very full. I made my way to Majors
and I ended up getting 3rd place. I didn't have many chips and I went all in with 2, 4. Not a
good hand but I hit two pair, but he had a better one. Stayed around and drank and watched
our beloved Vikes lose again. I bet against them in the pickem league. Good thing I did that. This
is another day of liquoring it up and I am very tired now. I better go night night asap...

10/29/06 - I went to church today with my dad. It was kind of odd, but hey its bonding time.
Afterwards we went to some  grocery store and got some seafood. The bill was over $75.00. I
paid for it being the good son that I am. I went to go play football at Van Cleve park. We were
playing against a bunch of athletic track stars. Yeah, we are all out of shape and they did much
better then us. I felt old and tired. I went to the VFW to meet up with Mary. Mary, Katie and I
went to the Blue fox and had a few drinks. Alot of drinking thiss weekend for me I decided. I
better slow it down a bit since I am on a slimming down faze right now.

10/28/06 - I went to the gym today to work out. My legs work pretty weak from working out
so much before. So I basically had a nice light day at the gym. My left elbow has been hurting
though. Seems like there is something loose. I went to go to the mall to do some shopping, I
didn't buy anything though. I went to the VFW and I got eliminated from Texas holdem pretty
fast. Not my usual style. Chris and Jamie and her boyfriend Jamie played, and we dubbed our
selves as Team Tony. We didn't do so well. We played some cribbage and just bullshited the
rest of the night. It was lots of fun. I actually had a blast.

10/27/06 - I was a bit tired this morning. I got up early and I couldn't fall back to sleep. For
lunch today we went to go eat at Fuddruckers.. I actually changed it up and had a buffalo
chicken sandwich instead of beef. It was quite good actually. After work I drove to Woodbury
to work out. I got another good session in tonight. I figured everything would start later tonight
anyways. I met up with Kelley and Lauren at Stasius, the bands were pretty bad there actually.
Kelley was dressed as a dead little red riding hood and Lauren was a Dirty Sanchez. Interesting,
but they were good costumes. I met up with Lunzer, guppy and Lawrence at Stubbs and

10/26/06 - I was hurting this morning. I felt like shit and I havn't felt like this since my birthday. I
swear I was roofied last night. I could not sleep and I felt like I have no clue where I was. I was
dragging so bad this morning I was tempted to drink coffee. I was having headaches all day
long. I stayed pretty late at work today cause I felt like just being in peace. I drove to dodgeball
and we won 6 to 1. I felt pretty good today. We dominated and I did well. My back has been
hurting alot lately, so I tried to take it easy during the fun games. Seems like I better be taking it
easy. We went to the VFW with the Brickshots and its always fun to hang around those guys.
We got pretty hammered tonight. I enjoyed every minute of it. Things are going prety goo
dthis week. Hopefully we can close this week with a good Halloween weekend.

10/25/06 - Today seemed to have gone by pretty fast. All I know is, I had a pile of papers I had
to get done for work. Looks like I will be even busier tomorrow. I been feeling tired. Real tired
actually. I look at the kickball message board and it seems to keep me entertained. I went to
Majors for dinner, since I had a fancy $50 Gift card. I had a nice steak, it was quite yummy. I
played poker tonight, I did fairly well. I made it to the final table. Mindy took me out on a crappy
hand and it was the worst beats I have ever had. But I don't care really. I got drunk and drove
Joey home. Wow, I was pretty wasted tonight. I felt like crap. Like someone roofied my pitcher
of beer.

10/24/06 - I woke up this morning, feeling more sore then normal. I need to start eating
healthy. Now that I have my fancy lifetime fitness membership. I better take advantage of it. I
will get to that later. I think I am slowly getting a cold. I been sneezing a bit. After work today I
went to go see a cheap movie at Roseville 4. I saw Monster House. It was alright. After that I
drove to Woodbury to go work out. It was very busy and I was a bit shy at first. I didn't want
to use a machine I didn't know how too. I got a good work out with biking, treadmill, some
machine I don't know what its called. I also played some basketball games with the fellas. I was
totally out of energy and just about to fall over and die. I think I will be sore all over tomorrow.

10/23/06 - I was a bit sluggish today. I got up early and finally shaved my beard off. I felt kind
of naked with out it. I had Mcdonalds for lunch today. I been trying to eat less, but Mcdonalds
just hits the spot every time. Things have been changing alot for me lately. Things are starting
to clear up. I forgot how I used to be the nice guy that made time for everyone else. I became
more selfish over time. I think I will have to go back to my old ways. I went to Majors tonight.
Basically we had 12 people, but 11 of them were from the VFW. Funny how the odd guy out
was the first one out. I ended up getting 2nd place and a nice little prize. I just can't beat Marco.
I had lots to drink, but it was worth it. I am starting to see things clearly, but I am still sure there
will be bumps ahead.

10/22/06 - I woke up today and dropped Andy off to his car. I made use of my membership to
Lifetime fitness. I didn't know what to expect really. I went into the locker room and I was
grossed out how guys just walk around with their wangs hanging out. Sick I tell you. Anyways,
I went to the gym and shot some hoops. Eventually some old guy in his late 30's wanted to
play me one on one. He beat me 11 to 3. I was up 3 to 0, but I wore down and he scored 11
unanswered. I was hurting and I could barely breathe. Today was step one of getting into
better shape. After working out, I had some time to waste before the Vikes game, so I decided
to go watch The Marine. I havn't watched a movie in a long time. I actually miss doing that.

10/21/06 - Andy woke me up today. I was so out of it, I forgot it was the end of season kickball
tournament. All of our teams went down. So it was kind of lame. I thought there would be a
better showing, by any of our teams we knew. I guess Tarsi, took the tournament for a 3rd
season straight. We turned Lunzers grill into a fire pit. Afterwards we went to the Sportspage
and got some drinks. Went to the VFW, and played in the first session of poker. I got to the
final table, but lost. Lindsey ended up winning it again. 2nd Session, me and Andy got eliminated
right away. I was fairly drunk. I been getting my poker fixings.

10/20/06 - Friday is finally here. I was more thrilled about that then anything. For lunch, Me and
Mario went to go eat at Majors, basically the same place where I will be playing poker. I have
never eaten there before. Prices were a bit more then I thought. After work today I drove to
Lifetime fitness in Woodbury. The lady got me all signed up and ready to go. I went up to
Anoka County for the Hauned house. It was kinda lame, but it was good stuff. We went to
Jacobs tavern for some drinks and shots. Its been a long time since I have hung out with Jamie
and Chris. I was feeling pretty good, I havn't gotten a buzz like that in awhile.

10/19/06 - I got up today and I just wanted to get alot of things done. Scott took me out to
Apple bees, first time hes paid for me in a very long time. I got off work and I watched an
episode of LOST. I used to love this show and it was pretty entertaining, but it has really come
up a bit short this season. It gives us more questions every episode with no answers. I think its
supposed to keep you hooked, but it really pisses you off. We played dodgeball tonight. We
won 7 to 0. I am sure my body is going to be hurting alot tomorrow. I got home and just
relaxed, I knew my body is going to be hurting.

10/18/06 - I woke up again today and I had the same feeling as yesterday. I wasn't in the
mood to goto work. I decided to take a mental holiday. I am frustrated, with so many little
things I can't focus at all. I was sitting at the computer just surfing the internet and I still
couldn't control my temper. I was banging on my desk so hard everything fell over. DSL
internet blows fucking giant ass. I needed to get away, and I was angry just being home. I
drove down to Burnsville. Went to go visit Susan, and we talked about things. She said she was
upset I havn't stepped up and took charge of things like I used too. I guess I let people walk on
me now. Then I went to the mall of america and walked around there. I went looking for one of
my old managers at the sunglass hut. She knew I had a temper, but there was a way to control
me and she was good at it. I drove back to the VFW and drank the rest of the night away. I
was drinking hard. No beers or anything this time. I wanted liquor and I wanted it hard. I sucked
really bad at poker tonight. I fight broke out there. I am glad I got eliminated. It basically
happened where I was sitting. Between two guys from my table. Who knows what I would
have done, since I am a walking time bomb right now.

10/17/06 - I woke up and was getting ready to call in sick. Then I changed my mind and just
winged it this morning. I was feeling fine, just fine. I was on my morning commute and noticed
there was a mini accident on the road and I was lucky, if I was leaving a few minutes earlier. I
guess Marco won the poker tournament last night at Majors. I had lunch with Joey today and I
had the best meat lovers pizza ever. Usually we settle for pineapple and canadian bacon, I hate
it so much. I was pretty busy today, I put alot of effort in work and got alot done. I cancelled
my doctors appointment today. I didn't want to go. I also cancelled my trip to lifetime fitness to
get a membership. I was not in the mood to do that stuff today I guess. I got off work and
decided to watch a cheap movie "Accepted" It was an ok movie, but since its the cheap
theater, the seating arrangements weren't clean. I think I stepped into something so sticky. I
couldn't lift my foot off the floor. Pretty nasty.. It was a good movie though. I talked to a few
friends tonight. I have not had contact with a few close friends in a while. I been kinda out of it

10/16/06 - Today I was kinda lagging a bit. I just was feeling the need for something, well
besides some caffeine. I have been thinking and I don't think I will be going to Milwaukee
anymore. Right now, just seems like a waste of a 5 hour drive and some cash. I don't know
why I am feeling this way. I was excited to go just a week ago. I went to Fridays with Joey for
dinner. Funny how the bartenders know me. Thats a sign I go there way too much. I got home
and Lindsey called me to go play poker at Majors in roseville. I guess the good some good
prizes there. I picked up Mary and we all played, we had a 4o percent chance of basically
winning it. I got eliminated right away. Kind of sucked how it happened but I don't care its free

10/15/06 - Today I got up, cause Nate called and wanted me to play some football. I got out of
bed and drove down to Van Cleve park to play. I was huffing and puffing after the first two
plays. I figured it was going to be a long day. I later picked it up and scored 4 touchdowns
today. How exciting. Went tot eh VFW to check on things really quick, before I make my way
to The Great World Buffet, for my dads b-day dinner. I made my way back to the V, just to see
how Marco and Lindsey were doing. I had a drink, and I decided. Maybe I should have a quota
for how many drinks I can have in a week. Who knows, right now I don't feel like drinking at all.
Anyways I went to Buffalo Wild Wings tonight for a drink or two. So much for the quota.

10/14/06 - I woke up today and was pretty sick. I did some laundry and basically laid around
the house. I felt I needed to do some research online today. So I basically did that. I was trying
to figure things out, sounds like I may not be going to Milwaukee. Me and Andy went down to
Ramseys house for Barbs surprise birthday party. Funny thing was, Barb already knew she was
getting one. So she wasnt too surprised. There was a keg there and some mexican food,
basically a mexican theme. There was two little enclosed fires. Kind of odd, but hey it works.

10/13/06 - Friday, So glad it is here. Work went by pretty fast today. Nothing really too
exciting. We went to Olive Garden for lunch. I was pretty stuffed actually. I figured this will be a
busy weekend. So I charged my camera at work. Later tonight, was basically Fred day, or Freds
going away party. But before that I had one of the worst dinner ever. Me Andy and Jenni went
to go eat at Don Pablos, we waited over 45 minutes before our food came out. The waiter said
their systems were down but that was no excuse. Then when we finally got our food. My food
tasted horrible, There was over 50% of food left on my plate. Which is not like me. We went
out for Fred and met him at the CC Club, we went to the VFW, then Herkimer, briefly at
Country bar and back to Herkimer.

10/12/06 - So I got up early today. I think i was around 6:30am. I had to get to work early
today because I would be spending the whole day in a hotel sitting there watching my life pass  
me by for 8 hours. I was very bored, I thought it was a complete waste of time and now I am
behind at work. How silly is that. Tonight for kickball we won 15 to 10 to end our season. It was
a very cold game, it was even snowing. I tell everyone I usually feel comfortable playing in the
cold. I guess it brings out the best in me. I stuck around and watched The Unmentionables vs
The Crushinators. The game was close in the beginning, but Undies broke away. It was just to
windy and it affected the strategy a bit. I was freezing tonight.

10/11/06 - Looks like today was an odd day. I had to sit through a boring meeting and
tomorrow I will have to do the same crap for a full day. I felt like I was in rage today. I don't
know why I feel so angry. Lot of odd news today, there was a plane crashing into a 50 floor
building, it was a small plane, nothing to serious. But everyone is ultra sensitive about stuff like
this. I am going to make my way to the VFW tonight I hope I win, I am in need of a big victory,
I have a clean slate and maybe I can win it all. I finished in 3rd place, but Lindsey took me out.
Once again my poker dreams were crushed.

10/10/06 - What an exciting day it was. Not really though. I been spending alot of time on the
message boards for kickball. Everyone seems to crack me up. I been trying to figure alot of
things out. Seems like this month is going to be extra busy. Went to Dena's house for the
kickball thing. It was alot of fun, I was man'ing the grill. I don't mind it at all. It was nice mingling.
I made my way to the VFW to see who ended up winning the Tournament of Champions.
Marco got 3rd, I thought he did well. Drank for a bit and BS'd. It was good times though.

10/09/06 - I got up very early today. I got in pretty early to work also, slightly before 8am. I
was in a good mood today. Since I been in a very angry mood all week. I been trying to work
on eating less. Tonight, I ended up eating a lot actually. So I better fix that tomorrow. I went
out for some happy hour action at FRIDAYS. Its kind of scary how they recognize my face and
know I havn't been there in awhile. I am glad my drunken days are over for now. I got home
today and did some laundry and worked out a bit. I been thinking about how busy this week is
going to be. Actually I am pretty excited for this weekend. Its going to be lots of fun. I am
excited to get a small check in the mail for some rebates. That always brightens my day.

10/08/06 - A very important thing happened to me today. I decided to let go. I was broken
down and I my shields were gone. I think I have let my past haunt me for way to long. I think I
am gong to do some more uncharacteristic things. So if I say even weirdo things then normal.
Maybe it was just a long time coming. I am planning on going to Chicago in the next month or
so. There is some unfinished business I have to take care of there and maybe the new era can
get into full swing. Vikings, really suck. I watched them today and they were horrible. If it wasn't
for that defense, we would be really bad. I blame the coach, Childress. First of all, I wouldn't
even recognize the fucker if I saw him off the street. I know they have better deep plays in that
damn playbook. This week will be very interesting. I think it might be my last kickball game this
Thursday. Not sure though, a few people want me to lead Zero Gravity again. Who knows... I
went out to walmart to get some shopping done and had something to eat with Joey at Perkins.

10/07/06 - I woke up today, well I guess Andy called me and woke me up, we went to Fridays
for some lunch. I was feeling quite full actually. Why do you ask, cause I love eating there.
Went over and played some Maddens, I don't think I have beaten him in awhile. Made my way
to the VFW and I had two more chances to win and get into the tournament of champions.
First session I was so close. I had lots of chips, but I ended up getting 3rd place, blinds were 10k
and 20k, wowsers... The 2nd session, I wasn't planning on playing, but I exactly was worn our
from playing in the 1st one. So I just dragged through and made it to the final table again, but I
lost. So my poker dreams were shattered. It was kind of funny, I had a cheering section. I
guess, next Tuesday I will be a spectator.

10/06/06 - I was sitting at work today, and I got an email from someone I used to know over a
few jobs ago. She was emailing me, and she realized I was in sales of some sorts. I will be given
an offer next week. This is huge news. Th main thing is, I used to like her too. So who knows.
After work today I got home and was prepared for the weekend. I went to Chad and Holly's
martini/open house party. It was a nice little place down in the shakopee area. I am glad hes
doing well. Me and Joey made our way to Gastofs then Hogsbreath. I can't say how much I
hate that place. I just do, no reason exactly. I think I am slowly getting a cold.

10/05/06 - I got up today and I had a hard time getting up. My back aches, my head hurts. I
feel like I am infected with a virus or something and I feel like its making me hallucinate again or
something. Or maybe I am just getting too caught up in the t.v. show LOST. I am frustrated,
just frustrated. I got home today and sat on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I thought I had
my "who am i?" thing fixed. I went to kickball, hoping to pull an upset against the Crushinators.
We ended up losing 16 to 2. I guess, i have accepted the fact of losing. I just am learning to
lose now. I played well, but I had a few plays I should have gone for, but I had no desire to go
for. I was just interested in finishing. I got home tonight, and just tried to go to sleep, but I laid
there till 4am in the morning. I didn't drink much pop today so I shouldn't have been awake.
Heck, I didn't even taste one sip of alcohol at the game tonight. Truely odd...

10/04/06 - What a day it was today. We had jimmy johns for lunch while watching the twins
play. Wow, they suck, I think its due to having them play during the day. Who is pumped and
ready to play during the day. Or maybe its cause they are a young team. Who knows, I don't
know much about baseball but go Yankees. I went to the VFW tonight. I wanted to get some
drinks in me. I been very frustrated lately with alot of things, personal, work, just everything. I
am getting ready to explode. I jsut don't know when, but its coming. I lost tonight at the VFW,
it was an ass kicking, I am getting frustrated with my play at holdem lately. I can't bluff or get
any luck.

10/03/06 - Today I had a kind of  major meeting I would say. It took up most of the early
morning till lunch time. We ordered pizza and watched the game at work. Wow those twins
stink. Not sure why you so called Twins fan cheer, they will lose. Yankees are a more superior
team. Tonight at kickball I was unsure if we would play. I guess, maybe we shouldn't have
played. It was a blow out, and for the first time it was us getting blown out. Dropped balls, rain,
heavy winds, everything you can think of. It was pretty ugly. I don't know what to say. They
played better. Its kind of weird we let in 20 runs and only scored 10. We all went to Applebees
for appetizers and drinks. This is what I miss from kickball, just bonding afterwards.

10/02/06 - Today I was feeling a bit tired. I been so busy over this weekend. I never got a
chance to catch up on sleep. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch today. We had such bad
service, for the first time in a very very long time I did not tip. I felt like I stole something when I
left the place, but oh well. I can be a dick every now and then right. I got home and was just
ready to pass out. I just wanted to watch lots of t.v. The Packers/Eagles game was pretty
boring. I went out tonight, I was very pissed off, and now I am in a very foul mood. I can't
describe how pissed off I am right now. I feel sorry for who ever we are playing tomorrow for
kickball. I am going to unleash hell now. Everyone knows I bottle up and when I pop, I pop

10/01/06 - Woke up today. It was kind of funny how I woke up. I got a text from Marco asking
"how I am feeling" I guess when your drunk the night before its kinda funny. We went to Ol
Mexico. The vikings sucked pretty bad today. I had the buffet at Ol Mexico, I was not
impressed. It was gross actually. Went to the VFW, but there was no cribbage tournament. I
got home and did my laundry. I was feeling very tired from a hectic weekend. Tonight I sit back
and watch FOX and football.
Daily Journal