09-30-2010 Softball resumes
Our 2nd session of softball finally started. We won the first game pretty easily and
got blown out the 2nd game. I take the blame for that. I didn't get the troops rallied
up for the fight. I know my teams normally get lazy.

Erika was giving the "Chopped" duties tonight. The ingredients were catfish(whole),
avocado, tomato, ginger and cucumber. I thought she did a awesoem job putting it
together.

We went out for Danielle's birthdat to Girvon grille. Me and Erika did the wing
challenge. I didn't finish the first wing, but Erika finished just in time.


09-29-2010 Another day to recoup
I basically worked from home today. My head was still feeling pretty crappy. I felt
like my head was so stuffed it was going to explode. I ate some more soup today. it is
really weird, not feeling hungry at times.

We played volleyball tonight. We played against another tough team. We got one of the
three games. Which was progress in the right direction. I am having a lot of fun
playing these competitive games.

09-28-2010 Sick sick sick
I don't exactly have the best immune system in the world. When I get sick. I get sick.
I went home after a meeting today. I wasn't feeling good at all. I tried really hard to
not look sick. With my deeper voice and my head spinning, I knew I couldn't keep it up
much  longer.  I got home and went right to bed. When i woke up. I felt like I got hit
by a bus.

09-27-2010 Steaming it
Tonight was  quite the exciting night. I went to watch some volleyball and even got to
play. Which is always nice for me. I felt being battle tested last Wednesday really
helped me in the sand vball. The game was slow too me. Made it alot easier for me to
focus. We won by forfeit for kickball. We got to play the Run Vultures. It was nice of
them to play against us.

09-26-10 House stuff
I watched the vikings today and they finally got a win. Although the offense looks
sloppy. It was good enough to get by the Detroit Lions.

I went grocery shopping today and I was looking for only healthy things to buy. It is
pretty tough to do that. i felt like I spent an hour in the grocery store reading all the
labels.

09-25-10 Night off
I took Erika to Ruam Mit. I have been telling her how awesome this thai place is. I
love the taste of it. Best pad tai in the cities I would say.

With all the drinking. I needed a dayoff. Tonight we watched "bitch slap" It was such a
dumb movie. most of it was done on a green screen with the worst CGI I have ever seen.

09-24-10 Heidi Bday
Me and erika went to Heidi's bday outting at Roddy's in North Saint Paul. Marth awas
bartending. I didn't even know she bartended. We had a fun time and just drank.

At kickball tonight we got a big win and won 19 to 1. We just blew that team out of the
water. We played well defensively and our kicking was just unbelievable.

We went to the sports page after and we just got loaded. Everyone was drunk. I am
surprise the employees didn't kick us out of there. It was a good time regardess.

09-23-10 Losing weight
I have been losing weight at a pretty good pace. I been trying to do more exercises.
Andy has been doing P90X and I should do it also. I am lazy though and I decided it
isnt time yet. My body is sore all over. I need to get in better shape/

09-22-10 Volleyball in BP
We didn't know what to expect for volleyball tonight. We were playing in Brooklyn
Park for the first time. What we found out, was we were playing against a bunch of
asians. Which was not a good sign. We played well even though we lost. I think this will
make us better. We definitely have to bump set and spike now.

09-21-10 Sick day
My throat hurt this morning, so I decided I should best call in. I worked from home
anyways. I did a fine job of catching up. I decided to marinate some chicken and clean
the bathroom. The toxic fumes actually made my throat worse.

I had trouble sleeping tonight. I went to bed around 12:30am and I laid in bed basically
till about 3am. I got up played on the computer for a little while and finally went to
sleep. My mind sure likes to wander at night.

09-20-10 Back to work
I realized lately I been a big slacker. Its time for me to get back to it. I have lost my
focus and right now I am trying to earn my way back. Key word is earn. I dunno lately
its been tough.

We won at kickball tonight 8 to 0. We were missing two of our good players and I knew
we needed to step up offensively. It was a nice night to be out also. It was wonderful
out.

09-19-10 Not in the mood
Watching the Vikings today was quite depressing. We are supposed to beat  good
football team. We are now 0 and 2. Yes we played two good teams, but we shouldn't be
this lackluster at home.

I wasn't in the mood to do much today. I have had a emotional few months lately and I
realized I have finally broke down. I laid around wondering whats been going on with me
lately.

09-18-10 Volleyball party
Me and Erika went to go eat at Vinos. We needed something in our stomachs from the
rough night last night. I am not one to complain much, but I swear the asian people
that work there just stare at me. I know I am confusing and they can't tell what I
really am. Still though its fricking annoying.

Chad and Danielle picked me up and brought me to the volleyball party at Jamies house.
it was a lot of fun. I wasn't planning to get drunk. It just happened. It was fun times,
especially with beer pong and tippy cup. I puked right outside of my house. I was too
lazy to clean it.

09-17-10 Friday night lights
I stopped over at Annie's after work to pick up a bandana. I was to cheap to go buy
one on my own. It was nice we got to chat and catch up real quick. I knew her parents
were in town, so I figure I didn't want to keep it long.

We won at kickball tonight. We decided to go drink at Shamrocks instead. totally
breaking our little agreement with The Sportspage. Oh well there service there sucks
anyways.

09-16-10 Quiet nights
I was at home trying to figure out my financial situation. I have been struggling again
and I know I should have this corrected. Can you believe it that I am in my late 20's
and I went under in my checking account. I am quite disappointed in my self. I decided
to look up financial tips online. Basically learning to be on a budget. I am going to
apply this on my next pay heck. It will be tough since I am already in a hole. I can do
it. I believe it.

09-15-10 Still a beast
I was minding my own business at dodgeball today. I was just trying to get back into
better shape. Then I noticed before the game 3 guys were pointing right at me. They
were all gunning for me. Not sure why. They all missed. I went and got all 3 of them
out in that game alone. As I look back at it. I still got it. The brought out the beast
and that made me mad. The rest of the game I was throwing harder and a bit more
ticked off.

I was pretty upset tonight. Before dodgeball we went to happy hour and my check card
got declined. When I got home tonight. I noticed I was billed twice for my car loan. I
was pretty icked off about. I just pid a bunch of bills and I was running low. So I went
under n my account. I called and they said they would send me a check in two weeks. I
swear when things get rough for me. I get lower lower into my pit

09-14-10 Patience
Why do I have to be patient? I will tell you why. No it as nothing to do with my cranky
love life. Its more about food. Today, I had a burger at McDonalds and I promised my
self I wouldn't eat crazy anymore. So I ate slowly. Which was about the hardest thing
I have ever done. To be patient and chew, was not as satisfying to me. People who know
my eating disorder would understand.

Fogo de Chao was so yummy tonight. We went there for a work thing. It was nice
getting our drinks, food and dessert paid for. We sure didn't hold back on anything. I
almost smile when I see this bill is over $1600

09-13-10 Anxiety
Today was a rough one. I was having anxiety issues. I was having a hard time breathing
and my emotions ere out of control. Unfortunately, I am fresh out of meds for it. I
wanted to punch everything in sight today. I tried to drink it away, but that didn't
even help. Losing something you love is always hard. This time it feels different. That
is soemthing I can't figure out.

I played well at kickball tonight. I was focused and I wanted to win by a lot. I kicked
to 3rd and just ran. Thats normally how I play anyways. It was fun, but I still kept
couldn't keep my eye on the prize. At times I was just staring out into the distance.
Surprised the other team didn't kick to me more.

09-12-10 Feeling different
My sister and Kobe came over. I ordered chinese. Man I can't find a good chinese place
to save my life in the Brooklyn park area. I think I am just really picky. Its not hard
to make chinese people seriously.

Man Kobe annoys me sometimes. He always asks me questions he already knows the
answer too. So I just stare at him like hes crazy.

Me and Erika went to Pho 79 in uptown to get dinner. I was not feeling hungry since I
had chinese earlier. We rented soem stupid called "Animals" at red box. Oh my god. I
think that was the worst low budget movie I have ever scene.

09-11-10 Bad day
I wasn't in a good mood all day. Its always a lot worse if I had a long night. I was so
upset today, I decided to buy a big fat juicy steak. It made me smile a bit. I am having
a hard time dealing with Erika as of late. I think were running out of time.

I went out tonight with Chad and Danielle. I told them I needed a night out. We went
to Kellys then to Morgans then finally the well. I was pretty drunk tonight and it felt
pretty good. I passed out at their house. Another late night.

09-10-10 Wet night
We lost at kickball tonight. Sara has a bunch of ringers on her team again. There is no
way we can beat them when this is the case. I did everything I could defensively. My
offensive game is struggling. I am going back to mushing the ball.

With the rain falling on us. We still had a good time in the rain drinking till the
turned off the lights. We ended up at Shamrocks and I just wasn't having as much fun
as I am used to.

09-09-10 Softball win
We finally started to get our bats in high gear. Were scoring runs and more runs. We
had our offense finally. We won easily the 1st game giving them only a few runs. The nd
game we were goofing off and we lost. We turned it on the last two innings but we
were a little too late.

Watchign the Vikings play tonight. Showed we were not as in sync as the other team.
Favre showed he needed more time with his receivers. His fault for now practicing
with the team more and not letting his starters play the last game. This isn't
Cleveland like last year. You get the Super bowl champs. Childress also did not game
plan well in the 2nd half. He needs to trust his coordinators better. Every 2nd half we
get out played.

09-08-10 Dodgeball return
I brought the left over tacos in for lunch today. With me watching my weight. i weigh
at 184 lbs today. I feel pretty slim if you ask me. Although there is room for me to
lose more weight. I feel I need to give it some more exercise. To do that. I will have
to make my return to dodgeball. Thats where I get a good work out in.

09-07-10 Back at it
I was struggling to be productive today. I was just not in the mood to do anything at
all today. Luckily it was pretty slow today. I went and got a salad at rainbow. I like
making my own salad. I put a lot of meat in it. I was pretty hungry after though. I
guess I should put more meat in it.

Tonights taco night was cancelled yet again. A low turn out and my head started to
hurt again. I been having head aches as of late. I don't know why either.

09-06-10 Fair part 2
I picked up Casey and we went to the fair. She hasn't ever been before. Which was
tough for me to understand. i guess I grew up near there. I was forced to deal with it.
I work by it also. I guess its a big part of my life.

We ran into Jenny and Andy and Jenny and eric. It was kinda fun, it wasn't planned or
anything. It worked out well. I had a good time trying more different foods. I was so
exhausted when I got home though. I fell asleep at 8pm tonight. Crazy huh

09-05-10 Driven
Brian was having a little volleyball get together and I decided to show up. We were
playing 3 on 3 volleyball. I actually had a good time. The main thing was my spiking. I
was getting my timing down and spiking it pretty good. It was a good confidence
booster when I get back to vball. My shoulder was having issues when I was trying to
set the ball.

I did a lot of driving tonight. I had to pick up my brother from the airport and driving
him all the way back to Andover.
have been watching the Star wars marathon all day today. I guess I never got to see
the older ones. I was very young then and didn't understand anything.

09-04-10 Party all night
I had a lot of things to do today. I bought a big 24 inch broom to sweep the garage. I
have so much dirt and dust to sweep. It felt good in there. I feel I can breathe a bit
easier.

I made beef stew tonight and steak bites. I invited people so we can have a good time.
With me feeling lonely. I have the need to be around people. I bribe people with my
cooking to come over. We had a good time. It was a lot of fun. Guitar hero, beer pong,
late night drive. Oh yeah!

09-03-10 Alone
I have been in a very good mood as of late. I wish things would be different sometimes.
I was reading on my facebook today. Someone suggested we gt one do over in life. How
grand would life be if we had that opportunity. I think it wouldn't be enough. We make
mistakes and I learned that making mistakes is ok.

Lately I have been alone. My heart honestly has gone through so much the past 4 years.
I don't know how it just hasn't imploded yet. I have always had so much heart to give.
I wish sometimes I would get it back. Lately things are a bit tough. Its the slow
progression to a downgrade. Well of course that never sits with me well.

09-02-10 Lazy
It was tough to be back at work. I just don't feel I get the credit or anything like. I
never cared, but when your getting paid donkey poo. There is always room for more then
just a pat in the back. I havn't exactly been the happiest guy there, but I do work as
hard as they pay me. Well thats what I learned to do. Since working hard was getting
wasted.

09-01-10 Nuttin
I used my last day off to basically do nothing at all. I been enjoying my vacation more
then ever. I have had a lot go on the past few days. Its been a roller coaster ride that
sometimes, I can't tell if its a good ride or not.

More stat craft 2 action for me. I been playing a lot of games this week. Since we
don't have comcast tv anymore. I can't wait for direct tv to arrive this weekend.
“For having lived long, I have experienced
many instances of being obliged, by better
information or fuller consideration, to
change opinions, even on important
subjects, which I once thought right but
found to be otherwise.”
Journal
www.TonyCu.com